Am I a Writer?

 I have always wanted to write. I think since I was at least 12, I had a dream of being an author one day. Do you know how many people I have met that dream of publishing a book, writing a novel, a scientific article? Writing something that others will read. I have great ideas; storylines fill my head.  Characters so clear that I sometimes stop and think, how would she react to this. One time, tears streamed down my face in worship as I felt God minister to her (my character in her imaginary situation).  They are so real to me they feel like friends. But I have never brought them to life, never put them down on paper. 

Why? What is stopping me. 

I'm lazy, I'm busy, I lack discipline. I don't know where to start, so I don't. I live with these stories, characters and ideas popping in and out of my consciousness and yet do nothing with them.  Maybe I'm afraid. What if I put it all down and nothing comes of it. No one likes it, no one reads it.  But now I'm thinking, so what. What if no one reads it? I will still have done it.  I will have written the story that God has laid on my heart. And I think, maybe, that is enough for me. 

So now, how do I start? How do I make time to complete this huge undertaking? How to I alter priorities to put writing near the top. I say near because I want Jesus first. My family will always be next, but I can eliminate many time wasters, like scrolling through social media, tv, even sleeping in on the weekends.  Those things can go. Those things do not matter.  So the current question
is can I change? Can I deny myself those meaningless past times to pursue something greater, something that currently feels so far out of reach. I hope so.